Ignoring the Pink (or Blue) Elephant in the Room

Jul 27 2010 in From Our Bloggers, Trying to Conceive by the2weekwait

As insane as this may sound, I honestly believe that one of the main things you should do after having an IVF is to NOT to think about it whatsoever. Wondering if you’re pregnant, obsessing over all the possible details, analyzing every physical symptom you have all accomplish nothing other than driving you crazy. And for me, that’s not a very long drive.

I remember during my “two week wait” after my IVF in April, the goal was to stay relaxed, rest, take care of myself and NOT think about babies, pregnancy or anything along those lines. It became quickly clear that the rest of the world did not get my memo however.

My first big trip after my transfer was to acupuncture. Luckily, I live right near a subway that practically goes into the lobby of my acupuncture’s building so it was a straight forward and easy ride. I also had managed to snag a seat (after lovingly knocking a few people over of course), so it was ideal.

A few stops into the ride, an obviously pregnant woman got on the subway and despite New Yorkers having a reputation as assholes, several offered her their seat. To be clear – I was not one of them. I just had my egg transfer and she was already pregnant. My logic was she’ll be fine but my recently fertilized eggs and I needed that seat.

Yes, I am the “Rosa Parks” of the trying to conceive community.

The pregnant woman declined everyone’s offer as she was “only taking the train a few stops.” The trouble is that she ended up holding the bar directly above my head and stood right in front of me. As I tried to think of anything else… like whether or not containment was the right response to the Vietnam War… the proximity of her huge belly literally felt like she was rubbing her pregnancy in my face.

Then, earlier that same week, a good friend of mine gave birth to her fourth child a month early. It was only the second day after my transfer, so I was still on bed rest when I got a text from her that read exactly like this: “Baby’s here. 4 wks early. 7lbs. We’re fine. Holy crap.”

What’s interesting to me is that we live in such a technological world that birth announcements are now sent via text. At the same time though, if you insert the word “STOP” after each one of her statements, it reads just like one of those old fashioned telegrams. Well, except I don’t think any old fashioned telegram ever used the words “Holy Crap.” At least none that I know of…

Another friend of mine was at that time pregnant with her third child and frankly, she spoke of ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE through that entire pregnancy. Every conversation, every text, every email, every Facebook Status update, every Tweet was all about the pregnancy. Pregnancy can be very exciting (at least that’s what I freaking hear… SIGH) but respectively, it was her third pregnancy and there are so many other things to talk about in this world. There’s politics, music, gardening, ‘Dancing with the Stars’ or Heidi Montag’s breasts. It can’t be that hard to pick some other topic to occasionally throw into your continuing “Pregnancy – Day 200” updates.

And yes, I realize that sounds bitchy but it’s my blog and I’ll be bitchy if I want to.

Lastly, and this was my all time favorite of my “April 2010 Two-Week Wait”, had to do with Facebook. I have an account with Facebook called, “TheTwo WeekWait” and someone; somehow, somewhere had tagged me in a photo of their first sonogram. They are apparently having twins and in the picture, there’s a “Baby A” and a “Baby B”. This person tagged ME as “Baby B”. Again, you just can’t make this sh*t up.

So, there I am, innocently sitting at home distracting myself with “RuPaul’s Drag Race” when I start to get a FLURRY of emails that say, “So-and-so commented on the photo you are tagged in!” and a “Congratulations!” or an “Oh my god, twins!” or a “I’m so happy for you!” type of statement would follow.

After the twentieth email, I was like, “Ok. What the hell is going on??” I finally logged on and figured out what had happened. Believe it or not, I thought this was pretty damn funny. There I was trying to not think about whether or not I’m pregnant, and not only am I inadvertently getting congratulated on having twins, I AM actually one of the twins!

As hilarious as I thought this was however, I managed to remove my tag from the picture and get myself out of both this predicament and out of this strange woman’s uterus.

Needless to say, NOT thinking about pregnancy was a challenge and of course, the IVF did not work. Now, as I prepare to get back in the “trying to conceive game” in a week or so, I’m thinking of how I plan to distract myself for the next two week wait. Thankfully, a blog and some chocolate always seems to help fertility challenged girl out.

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