As insane as this may sound, I honestly believe that one of the main things you should do after having an IVF is to NOT to think about it whatsoever. Wondering if youâre pregnant, obsessing over all the possible details, analyzing every physical symptom you have all accomplish nothing other than driving you crazy. And for me, thatâs not a very long drive.
I remember during my âtwo week waitâ after my IVF in April, the goal was to stay relaxed, rest, take care of myself and NOT think about babies, pregnancy or anything along those lines. It became quickly clear that the rest of the world did not get my memo however.
My first big trip after my transfer was to acupuncture. Luckily, I live right near a subway that practically goes into the lobby of my acupunctureâs building so it was a straight forward and easy ride. I also had managed to snag a seat (after lovingly knocking a few people over of course), so it was ideal.
A few stops into the ride, an obviously pregnant woman got on the subway and despite New Yorkers having a reputation as assholes, several offered her their seat. To be clear – I was not one of them. I just had my egg transfer and she was already pregnant. My logic was sheâll be fine but my recently fertilized eggs and I needed that seat.
Yes, I am the âRosa Parksâ of the trying to conceive community.
The pregnant woman declined everyoneâs offer as she was âonly taking the train a few stops.â The trouble is that she ended up holding the bar directly above my head and stood right in front of me. As I tried to think of anything elseâŚ like whether or not containment was the right response to the Vietnam WarâŚ the proximity of her huge belly literally felt like she was rubbing her pregnancy in my face.
Then, earlier that same week, a good friend of mine gave birth to her fourth child a month early. It was only the second day after my transfer, so I was still on bed rest when I got a text from her that read exactly like this: âBabyâs here. 4 wks early. 7lbs. Weâre fine. Holy crap.â
Whatâs interesting to me is that we live in such a technological world that birth announcements are now sent via text. At the same time though, if you insert the word âSTOPâ after each one of her statements, it reads just like one of those old fashioned telegrams. Well, except I donât think any old fashioned telegram ever used the words âHoly Crap.â At least none that I know of…
Another friend of mine was at that time pregnant with her third child and frankly, she spoke of ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE through that entire pregnancy. Every conversation, every text, every email, every Facebook Status update, every Tweet was all about the pregnancy. Pregnancy can be very exciting (at least thatâs what I freaking hearâŚ SIGH) but respectively, it was her third pregnancy and there are so many other things to talk about in this world. Thereâs politics, music, gardening, âDancing with the Starsâ or Heidi Montagâs breasts. It canât be that hard to pick some other topic to occasionally throw into your continuing âPregnancy â Day 200â updates.
And yes, I realize that sounds bitchy but itâs my blog and Iâll be bitchy if I want to.
Lastly, and this was my all time favorite of my âApril 2010 Two-Week Waitâ, had to do with Facebook. I have an account with Facebook called, âTheTwo WeekWaitâ and someone; somehow, somewhere had tagged me in a photo of their first sonogram. They are apparently having twins and in the picture, thereâs a âBaby Aâ and a âBaby Bâ. This person tagged ME as âBaby Bâ. Again, you just canât make this sh*t up.
So, there I am, innocently sitting at home distracting myself with “RuPaul’s Drag Race” when I start to get a FLURRY of emails that say, âSo-and-so commented on the photo you are tagged in!â and a âCongratulations!â or an âOh my god, twins!â or a âIâm so happy for you!â type of statement would follow.
After the twentieth email, I was like, âOk. What the hell is going on??â I finally logged on and figured out what had happened. Believe it or not, I thought this was pretty damn funny. There I was trying to not think about whether or not Iâm pregnant, and not only am I inadvertently getting congratulated on having twins, I AM actually one of the twins!
As hilarious as I thought this was however, I managed to remove my tag from the picture and get myself out of both this predicament and out of this strange womanâs uterus.
Needless to say, NOT thinking about pregnancy was a challenge and of course, the IVF did not work. Now, as I prepare to get back in the âtrying to conceive gameâ in a week or so, Iâm thinking of how I plan to distract myself for the next two week wait. Thankfully, a blog and some chocolate always seems to help fertility challenged girl out.